Sunday, January 27, 2008

I suppose my trophies ARE a bit tarnished ..

Everybody has something they are good at. Something they have worked really hard at or something that comes as naturally to them as breathing. Or – sleeping.

I have always excelled at sleeping. If there was a gold medal, a blue ribbon, or a trophy for snoozing, I would have it. I would have to have a separate room just for my awards; I have always done it so well.

But I have been so tired this past year or so, all I have wanted to do is sleep. I have to force myself to get up in the morning, yawn all day, and daydream about taking a nap as soon as I get home from work. Frequently during the day I can be heard exclaiming “I’m dying here.”

On the weekend it’s not unusual for me to simply not wake up till noon or later. And then – 2 or 3 hours later – curling up on the couch for a nap. Except my naps are like a nights’ sleep for some people. 3 hour naps would be considered the norm for me.

I have always marveled at people who just wake up in the morning – early in the morning, which means any time before 10:00. And not only wake up, actually get up and out of bed. If I wake up early it’s only to trudge to the bathroom or clumsily turn over – and then I’m back to sleep again before you know it.

My doctor suggested that maybe with all this sleeping and never feeling rested, I am not sleeping well. My reaction was “What??? I sleep like a champ!” It never ever in a million years would have occurred to me that I am not actually getting good sleep. Heck, I thought ALL sleep was good sleep!

So when he suggested I try taking something to help me sleep, a test, to see if it would be a different kind of sleep, I balked. “I don’t need anything to sleep, wanna see? I’ll lay down right here on this narrow paper-covered exam table and show you! Just give me 10 minutes.”

I ended up agreeing to his little experiment, more out of desperation than anything else. I am so tired of being tired.

I have been taking mama’s little helper for a week now. Getting to bed at approximately the same time every night, and getting up at my usual time in the morning. I haven’t taken any naps, although there have been days that by 8:00pm I am just waiting for it to be 10:00 o’clock so I can take a quick shower, get my stuff ready for morning, and climb into bed.

This morning, Sunday, I woke up at an ungodly hour. I laid there for a while, looking at the cats that were surrounding me sensing that I was awake and would soon be the bearer of food. I looked at the clock, closed my eyes again, somewhat confused. Confused, because I was awake. I probably could have gone back to sleep if I tried, but I didn’t feel like I needed to try.

I don’t really have an addictive personality, unless you count cigarettes which I did finally quit, and carbs which I haven’t. But I have had diet pills – nah – tossed them in a drawer. Anti-anxiety meds – quit taking them when I felt I didn’t need them anymore. So I am not worried about taking this medication for too long or in a way that isn’t good for me.

It’s only been a week. I don’t want to get too excited. I can’t jump to any conclusions or give my doctor any credit (especially since he’s such a smart-ass) when the experiment is only 7 days old.

But this morning? This morning I woke up all on my own, without an alarm or a cat touching my face with her paw. I didn’t wake up because I had to pee or to turn over. And this morning, I got out of bed at 8:30 am. And not because I had to.

For a lot of people that’s normal. For me? Momentous!


MsCatCalls said...

I love reading posts like this , as a sleep for England type of person myself . I have to get up early now cos of the dog and find now Im older I wake early and get up early but I always want to sleep in the afternoons and frequently do on weekends , and can never wait till bed time , I sit and will the clock round .... but fascinating that your tablets have changed things . Who would have thought it .

Jenk said...

Can I have some?

Drew said...

Its interesting to me to hear people talk about their difficulty with sleep and sleepy given that I've been fairly lucky (knock wood) in that department. Who knew that so many people had problems with sleep?

I'm really glad that something seems to be working out for you. Now you'll have more time to be beady and creative. ;-)

useless_rambler said...

Glad they seem to be helping :)

I have some weekends like that... this has been one. I had to *make* myself get up at 10 this morning, never mind that I'm still sitting here with my second cup of coffee. I did start the laundry and am hoping that today is more productive than yesterday, where absolutely NOTHING was accomplished!!!

Here's to sweet slumbers now and evermore!!! :)

Dixie said...

Ok, give. What is it you are taking?? I need me some of them. Because I KNOW I'm not sleeping well. And that is all I want to do too.

BetteJo said...

It's Ambien, Dixie. The only reason I didn't say that was because it was one of the things Heath Ledger was taking - makes it sound so dangerous! But all it does it make me sleep more deeply.

Robin Marie said...

I can't say I have this problem on a regular basis because I'm usually so completely worn out when I hit the sack that I'm truly dead to the world for the next 7 hours.

This past winter holiday was the first time in a long time that I experienced the constant exhaustion you described, and I finally realized it was because I was getting too much sleep, and my metabolism was slowing down dramatically. My body was losing its ability to keep going all day. It's a scary thing to always be tired!

Kudos on finding a way to manage it!