Monday, March 1, 2010

Is it wrong to be mean to my doctor?

Thursday is my first doctor's appointment since the diabetes diagnosis. And all I can think about is how pis
sed off I am at him.

My doctor is funny, straight forward, and loves to tell people about how his wife thinks he's the biggest a$$hole around. And I can see why she thinks so. I would never want to be married to the man but as a doctor I've always trusted and liked him.

So when he acted annoyed with me (presumably because I had not lost weight and prevented the condition in the first place) and said he had to treat me, handed me a meter and shoved me out into the little waiting area outside the lab where I waited for his nurse to bring me a diet
and some useless pamphlets - it really made me angry.

Not sure what I'm going to say to him but there has to be something about making a diagnosis and then at least pointing a patient in the right direction to learn how to manage said illness. There were a few days there where I was weepy and overwhelmed. And I still feel overwhelmed and on some days I feel de
feated. I think I've gained some understanding and then my numbers disprove it. While I understand this is something I have to learn to take control of while the doctor will only manage my care - he could have given me a CLUE!!!

Maybe it's not fair to be angry with him, but I'm not blaming him for the diagnosis. I fully realize it's my own fault due to diet and lifestyle. Like I actually have a lifestyle. Sounds glamorous, doesn't it? But as my doctor, I would have expected more than annoyance and being pushed out the door with no real direction or guidance.

All I keep seeing in my mind is sitting in the chair in the exam room, looking up when he walks in and saying .... "Y'know, you really SUCK." Because we all know how articulate I am.
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Anonymous said...

Well your Dr should try to help you understand the problem and give you guidance. That is part of their job. But I guess sometimes they expect more from us. My Dr and I got ran into a problem over me taking meds for high cholesterol. I didn't like how they made me feel but he insisted that they were necessary. I managed to research and get it down with some very simple diet changes and a small amount of exercise. I couldn't resist telling him "I told you I didn't need that stuff" Take control and tell him what you want from him. (I was married to and asshole for 22 years, and that is the best way to deal with them.) Good luck.

Teena in Toronto said...

I'm sure he'll understand.

Diane at Crafty Passions said...

I once told a specialist what I thought of him, I didn't mince words either, then I reported him to the hospital board, I was told he was having private problems at home.... I told them he was not very professional when it comes to treating patients.His office must have called me every day for a month afterwards to go for a follow up,do I look that stupid that I need to go back for more abuse?
He may have been a good doctor I dont know but he was sure a rude doctor, then I found out it wasen't just me but he had lots of complaints against him.They think they are God up on a pedestal, got news for you.... they put their pants on one leg at a time same as everyone else.
The very first thing he told me when I entered his office >> was to shut the damn door ,it wasen't a barn door , it was downhill after that !!!!!!
Tell him how he made you feel , no one needs to be made to feel small or badly at a doctor's office they are there to help you and you pay them to help you!!

JenK said...

I think "You suck" covers it nicely. He'll know what you mean.

pawhealer said...

Don't get ME started BJ....I'm right there with you.....Suggestion? Seriously, seek out an Acupuncturist...they are the care giver your looking for...they can help and it does work...I swear!

We as a group are much more nurturing and we are all about helping people take steps...don't matter how big...and we really do help with the process of life style changes...You don't have to do this alone.


MsCatCalls said...

Its horrible when you feel out of control,and that your doctor isnt helping . Maybe you need to tell him some of what you are feeling or nothing is going to change ? I usually try to list what I want to say or I forget when I get in the appointment room . But something has to shift , you dont want to go on feeling like this and you deserve more !

Lady Banana said...

Can you not see another Dr? One with a bit more compassion maybe?

Barbara said...

If you trust him as a doctor and want to keep him, then you need to let him know how his treatment of you made you feel. But unless you have some deep connection and trust with him, I say find another one. Also, when my dad was diagnosed with diabetes, he joined a support group and it made a huge difference in his outlook and attitude about it. That's been years and years ago - he's now 83 and going strong!

sue z said...

This doctor might be good at his job as far has telling you what condition you have but it sounds like he has no bed side manner at all. It sounds like what you need is support, not that kind of attitude. I hope you think about trading him for one who can be gentler and more understanding...Someone well like Dr.OZ(wouldn't that be great LOL)
Seriously you deserve better!

my 2 cents worth.
Thanks for stopping by!!