Thursday, May 6, 2010

Member? Do ya?


Member when your kids were born? Member how you didn't sleep because they didn't sleep and you spent all your time restocking diapers and making bottles and oh - yeah - working a full-time job? A stressful one at that?

My life. Except the baby is an elderly woman and the bottles are breathing treatments and the diapers are .. well .. let's move on.

I'm tired. 2 falls and 1 bump on the head later, Mom is actually doing quite well. She carries her bag of Hersey's dark chocolate kisses from room to room leaving little purple pieces of foil behind her. But she's using the bathroom by herself and gaining some strength in her legs. I keep threatening to get her on the treadmill and I'm only half kidding. We've gotten the nebulizer routine down, when to prepare them ahead and where to put them so they are easily accessible.

The job of putting all her contacts in her cell phone fell to me. Woo hoo. Wasn't that fun? I made the doctor's appointment and the eye doctor's appointment, I called the nursing home in NJ for some records and a hospital that wanted my first born in trade for an EKG. There has been a lot. Of everything.

Monday when I went to work I was terrified leaving her home alone. I was so on edge that when I called a nursing home nearby that was my first choice for her and they explained the cost - I hung up the phone, put my face in my hands and started to cry. BUT - I ran home at lunch and checked on her and when I went back - I was a bit better.

Not sure where we are going from here but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be damn tired until we
get there.

Still - I feel a lightness - and if I look behind me I'll bet there are big boulders of guilt lying in my path for all the time my brother took care of my mom. It feels good to do the right thing.

I didn't expect it to be easy.



MsCatCalls said...

I don't quite know what to say Bettejo. Words fail me ! You're amazing and it all feels enormous and overwhelming even at this distance . But something tells me you are doing the right thing for you as well as your mom? I hope it all pans out...

Anonymous said...

Doing the right thing is rarely easy. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will soon get to where you need to be.

Diane at Crafty Passions said...

Your doing the right thing, your a good daughter.Is it easy?? No !
I have been looking after my MIL for 9 years, she has alzheimers for the last 2-3 years.
Overwhelming yes...
Forget the guilt your doing it now,just remember to thank your brother one day for having done it up to now.Its too hard for one sibling alone when the rest of them stick their heads in the sand and pretend its not happening.

Your Mom wont be with you forever, I miss my mother so much and she was a handful, very high maintenance.... yes she was a pain in the butt sometimes.... but she was my Mom and I miss her every day.
Hug your Mom show her you love her.
PS Happy Mother's Day to both of you !!

Lady Banana said...

A very difficult task you have indeed but one day you will look back and be proud you did the right thing..

The Beading Gem said...

You are an inspiration!! Your mother is very lucky to have first your brother and then you taking care of her.

Lavender said...

Such a huge transition in your life, its good you had no illusions...hang in there and may we all remember we only get one mom!

Teena in Toronto said...

I hope it works out for you.

Lost A Sock said...

You are such an inspiration. Hang in there. We are thinking about you here in blog-land.

Happy Mother's Day!

BetteJo said...

Thank you Ladies - for your kind words and support. Really, I'm doing exactly what Tonya said - putting one foot in front of the other. So far it's working. Thank God I can come her to talk about it!

Bev's Jewelry said...

BetteJo, I haven't commented here much lately but you've been on my mind a lot knowing the problems you have been faceing. You are doing the right thing though hard it may be and later you will be glad you did. Bev

Shaiha said...

Wow you have your hands full. I am reading the saga and wondering what I am going to do when my mother reaches that point.

Susannah said...


You're doing right, alright!