Member when your kids were born? Member how you didn't sleep because they didn't sleep and you spent all your time restocking diapers and making bottles and oh - yeah - working a full-time job? A stressful one at that?
My life. Except the baby is an elderly woman and the bottles are breathing treatments and the diapers are .. well .. let's move on.
I'm tired. 2 falls and 1 bump on the head later, Mom is actually doing quite well. She carries her bag of Hersey's dark chocolate kisses from room to room leaving little purple pieces of foil behind her. But she's using the bathroom by herself and gaining some strength in her legs. I keep threatening to get her on the treadmill and I'm only half kidding. We've gotten the nebulizer routine down, when to prepare them ahead and where to put them so they are easily accessible.
The job of putting all her contacts in her cell phone fell to me. Woo hoo. Wasn't that fun? I made the doctor's appointment and the eye doctor's appointment, I called the nursing home in NJ for some records and a hospital that wanted my first born in trade for an EKG. There has been a lot. Of everything.
Monday when I went to work I was terrified leaving her home alone. I was so on edge that when I called a nursing home nearby that was my first choice for her and they explained the cost - I hung up the phone, put my face in my hands and started to cry. BUT - I ran home at lunch and checked on her and when I went back - I was a bit better.
Not sure where we are going from here but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be damn tired until we
Still - I feel a lightness - and if I look behind me I'll bet there are big boulders of guilt lying in my path for all the time my brother took care of my mom. It feels good to do the right thing.
I didn't expect it to be easy.
Thursday, May 6, 2010