Monday, March 31, 2008

Did I mention neurosis?

I have been trying since Christmas, to get my bead room together. I have emptied baggie after baggie of beads into containers. I have taken beads from boxes and bins and put them into other kinds of compartments and boxes. Shelves have been put up and mailing materials organized.

But I am stuck. This is a project that Molly could have done in a day. Actually, she could have organized the beads, the room, and painted it some wonderful color besides. And the color would have a name. Not me!

Okay I have long recognized that I have some *cough cough* quirks. People at work know I hate when someone sits at my desk and moves things around. My daughter knows if she loads the dishwasher I will move all the dishes around until they fit what I think is a better configuration. The bills in my wallet? Yeah, they all face the same direction, just like the clothing on hangers in my closet. But everybody does that. I think. The Christmas tree? Let’s not even talk about that.

Funny though, I am not that way about everything. Is my house a masterpiece of order and cleanliness? Uh, no. I wish. Does everything in my house have a place? And do I know where those places are? Hell no! It’s my private joke with myself when I am looking for something around the house that I am sure “I put it somewhere safe where I know I will remember it.” If I don’t laugh about it I will cry because I can’t find anything!

Which brings me back to my bead room. I want to organize it so well, I want everything to be within reach and I want it to make sense so desperately – that I am immobilized. I know that if I put everything in a bin or box or drawer, there is so much of it, it will never be right. I will be reorganizing forever and knowing I can’t do that the first time – freezes me in my tracks.

I know, look at it in small bits so I am not overwhelmed by the whole. Just do it, get it all cleaned up and looking wonderful and if I have to move things around every time I use something in there, so what? Just do it!!! Uh – yeah.

In some ways it makes it harder that I know exactly what is stopping me. Somehow if I could be oblivious to the idea that I will be extremely uncomfortable if I do not get it all in place to my liking, I could move forward and put everything – well – somewhere. But I think somewhere in my mind I think I will come to the end of the space and still have stuff left over with no place to put it.

Crisis for most people? No. For me?

Can you say neurotic? Sigh-h-h.


Mahala said...

I think being a perfectionist can actually lead to disorganization. If I tackle something and can't do it EXACTLY how I think it has to be, I won't do it.

That's my excuse anyway lol.

BetteJo said...

Thanks for expressing it for me!! :) It's a good thing I'm not that way about everything. I wouldn't get anything done!

Lost A Sock said...

I think Mahala hit it right on the head. I have areas in my house that aren't exactly organized for that very reason. And when it comes to toys? I sometimes spend hours sorting legos from Hot wheels from farm animals, all into their own containers and feel high at the end (eek) and then one child comes along and dumps it all on the floor in ONE pile, and I don't get motivated to touch the bins for another month.

I would so love organizing a bead room, though. My one girlfriend turned me onto making jewlery a couple months ago, and that's all I want to do every time we go up to see them. I do love clicking through your Etsy shop. :o)

Jewellery Craft said...

I can so relate to this post, if I have one tidy room somewhere else is the pits, its never all tidy..... I spend so long making sure one area is perfect I run out of time for the rest of it.

My knicker draw is just so, dare anyone muss it up.....beads, everywhere, including the floor!


BetteJo said...

Uh oh - Molly is loving the beads! Oh please do a bead room and I will copy it, okay?

And I love the sound of "knicker drawer" - it sounds so much more fun than "underwear drawer"! (um - but who would be messing up your knicker drawer? Just askin'.) :)

useless_rambler said...

*Precisely* the reason I can't start scrapbooking. I have all the stuff to start, and then some... but my pictures are in such disarray that I just can't get started.

Not helped by the fact that I have no room in this tiny house and it takes more time to get everything out and put everything up than it takes to actually scrap!!!

I feel your pain, sistah! I feel your pain :)