Home 2.0

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It's not a really special place but I know the television channels and I don't have to ask someone to "unplug me" so I can go to the bathroom.  Nice!  And really - it's about damn time!

Still here.

Jello is always better when it's firm enough to eat with your hands, isn't it?  Especially the sugar free kind.  Yum!

Maybe I can go home tomorrow.




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Maxine Monday on hiatus

Okay for real, I don't know how to post a picture using my phone. Full disclosure.


I am back in the hospital - I developed a mild skin infection and have been getting IV antibiotics since Saturday night. Hopefully will be going home on Monday morning.


My surgery was not done at this hospital, but this is the hospital closest to my house. It is also the hospital my mom spent so much time in at the end, and where she passed away. I recognized nurses in the ER. And now I am in a cookie cutter room to hers. It was a strange feeling of familiarity and sadness when they wheeled me into my room last night. It was emotional for me. And just now a doctor who treated my mom and was incredibly gentle with her came in to consult on my case. After he left the tears came.


My surgery is a starting over point for me. And now unexpectedly it is also a cleansing of emotions left over from taking care of my mom - as well as making decisions about her death.


Do things really always happen for a reason? Maybe so.


I also can't figure out how to schedule this post for tomorrow.


Sigh-h

Displaced

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Threw a blanket on the couch, took a nap there earlier.

I'm guessing a late afternoon nap is out of the question!  At least for me.


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Home

I have all my instructions and some meds - but really I'm doing quite well.  I filled the prescription for pain meds but I didn't do anything stronger than regular Tylenol at the hospital so I doubt I'll use it.  I do have some injections I have to give myself for 6 days, I am sure it won't be my favorite time of the day - but I've already done it once  so - no worries.

For now - all I really want is to get a good nights sleep.  Hospitals are not always good for that.  
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And now .. the rest .. of the story.

Over the last 6 months I have been through a lot of tests and a lot of procedures.  Sleep studies, stress test, upper GI, EKG, breathing tests, blood tests, ultrasound, and there are probably more I cannot think of.  If you don't read my 'Fat blog', and not many do, you would not know why.  


This morning I am undergoing weight loss surgery.  It has been a 6-month journey to be approved by my insurance company, there have been many hoops to jump through and many criteria to be met.  But all of that is behind me now and today is my reset button.


Weight has been a problem for me for many years, off and on.  The decision to take this step was the result of many years of dieting and exercising, gaining and losing but mainly - always gaining it back.


When I got the diabetes diagnosis I got scared and lost some weight and was heading to a pretty good place.  But when my mom came to live with me - those good eating habits went out the window and I pretty much came off the rails.  Going to the nursing home straight from work every other day made a good meal schedule impossible and actually - I'm sure I was rewarding myself with food, you know - I've had a really long day, I deserve  to just whip through that drive thru.


Writing about this here is not something I wanted to do right away.  People have many ideas about weight loss surgery and the most common negative reaction is - it's the easy way out.  I have confronted that with people, one exercise trainer specifically got me really mad with that attitude when he suggested I just exercise and to heck with the surgery.  My response to him - after I told him he needed to get a different job - was that he had no idea what had brought me to this point.  He was assuming I had never tried the exercise route.  He was assuming I did not want to work for what I wanted.  He was making a judgment of me based on his own experiences and what has worked for him.


Many people react the same way he did, and it hurts.  Especially people who have never had a weight problem, like my old office roommate who could probably still wear her high school clothes, even though she is older than me and eats all.  day.  long.  When she found out I had a treadmill her response was "well then you have no excuse."  Hmm.  People frequently do not think before they speak so I held off writing about this.  I still needed to talk about it so I wrote on my other blog because I knew no one - or hardly anyone ever read it.  My journey is over there if you would like to read it.  And if you'd like one post that explains my feelings about it the best - try this one.


For now, please wish me well and wish me success in this endeavor.  There are many changes I need to make and I am hoping to have your support.  Know I am not going into this lightly, this has been a huge decision for me.  It is all part of getting control of my life and yes, starting over.
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Maxine Monday

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Truer words ...

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How come my brain gets a vacation if I don't?

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People have their blood drawn from time to time.  And when they do, if they are an adult they are usually familiar with which arm is better for an easy stick and good blood flow.  Er .. at least they know which one usually works the best.  As do I.  So when I had to have blood drawn the other day I sat down in the chair and offered up my left arm.  "The vein is sideways but it's the one everyone uses so this is the side."  


The gal did the stick and filled one tube but on the 2nd tube she wasn't having any luck.  "Wow, this has slowed wa-a-a-y-y down, not getting much now."  She kind of moved the needle a bit inside the vein which triggered my internal squeamish switch and I had to talk myself out of getting light headed and freaking out.  Finally she decided to try the other arm.  On went the band-aid and in when the needle in my right arm.  "Oh that's better."  She said, "It's filling right up." 

A minute later I was done and walking out with a band-aid covering a lump of gauze on each arm which caused a little girl to gape in horror as she waited her turn.  Sheesh!  And as I reflected on it later I realized - I had given her the wrong arm.  


Which begs the question, where does my brain go, sometimes?  Does it just check out and some other thinking (or non-thinking) device takes it's place?  I mean - it was instinctual - here - this is the arm, use this one.  


Sometimes I just have to ask WTF??

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Maxine Monday

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The sky is falling!

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At least that's what my kitties think.  All of a sudden it got dark, the cats got a little restless.  Then the sky opened up, the rain started to fall and then there was hail.  All in quick succession.

And the kitties scattered.

The hail stopped but the rain continues.  The kitties are a little more relaxed but the rolling thunder is still sending them back to their hiding places from time to time.  


I just wish I could explain it to them.  Can you imagine how scary it is for them?

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Who's in charge here?

I post Maxine and then next thing I know - it's almost Friday!  What happens in-between??  
What is it about the space created by my leg and my behind that this kitty loves to cuddle up to?  I really don't get it.  But she gets so comfy there.

Of course now I can't move because I'll disturb her. They own me, I tell ya.


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Maxine Monday

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Pay no attention to the tin-foil hat ..

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Me thinks I've been filling in my eyebrows a little too heavily these days.  Can you say "Uncle Leo?"

Ya think??  Wow.  Sometimes the truth hurts.  Yikes!


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It's not hard

Him:  Hello, Dr So and So and So and So's office ~


Me:  Hi.  I have to make an appointment for an ultrasound apparently.

Him:  Okay, let me see what I have ...


Me:  Soon as possible soon as possible soon as possible ..


Him:  I'm sorry, what's your name?


Me:  BetteJo This and That.


Him:  Oh Hi!  How are you?


Me:  I'm fine, except that I have to have an ultrasound.  Is this Jason?


Him:  Yep.  It's me.


Me:  I thought you'd be off backpacking somewhere by now, where was that supposed to be?  Alaska, you said?


Him:  Yeah, but not till next year.  You remember that?  Do you have your gallbladder?


Me:  Why yes, I have it right here in a jar.  So you're waiting until next year?


Him:  Yes.  How about the 10th at 4:30 - ay-y-y .. ay-y-y?  Soon enough?


Me:  Sure that works for me.  Do I need to bring my gallbladder?  


Him: If it's in your body, yes.  Otherwise no.  How about if you just call in here every day?


Me:  I can do that, I mean - work needs to be fun, right?


Him:  You got that right.  Okay, Wednesday the 10th at 4:30, you need to fast for 4 to 6 hours -


Me:  46 hours??  For an ultrasound?  I swear I can account for my gallbladder!


Him:  (laughing) NO!  4 to 6 hours, not 46!  So does this work for you?


Me:  Yes that works, (relief in my voice) okay, I'll see you then.


Him:  Okay, take care.


Me:  You too.    

It's not hard to make someone smile, as a matter of fact - it's pretty easy if you want to.  

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Maxine Monday

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