Maxine Monday

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Steve Jobs is evil! Or a comedian. Not sure which.

If you have an iPhone you are already familiar with auto-correct.  When you type, the iPhone predicts what you are trying to say and automatically completes words or changes them totally, assuming it knows what you are trying to say better than you do.  There are times when I think those iPhone developers got drunk or high and sat around figuring out what ridiculous things to change different words to like - always change happy to herpes or song to spit.  Or worse.  Much much worse.  Turns out - there is a website dedicated to chronicling people's experiences with auto-correct.  Glad it's not just me.


Warning, if you have had children or are of a certain age - empty your bladder appropriately before continuing.  Offering you the benefits of my mistake.

Need a tissue?

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Maxine Monday

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Risking the rude stuff

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I'm supposed to have a sleep study done pretty soon.  Hopefully.  My reaction?  "Coo-o-o-o-o-l!!"  I've always thought it sounded like a neat thing to do.  A friend of mine had one recently and found out she stopped breathing 4 times during the night.  Not sure I want to know that.  But on the other hand, it's still cool to go somewhere and get all wired up and find out what you do at the one time every day that you have no idea what you are doing.  I mean really.  You could be sleep walking, you could be crank calling strangers.  Of course you could be sleeping peacefully and not making a sound, or you could be snorting like a pig and baying like a beagle.  You. Don't. Know.  


So I am hoping to do this in the next month or so.  From what I have been told they recommend you bring your own pillows if that will make you comfortable, your favorite jammies, a book, your laptop, whatever will help you feel at home and contribute to the most normal sleep you can get away from home with goobered up wires stuck in your hair and down your shirt and wherever else they put them.  


The only creepy thing about it to me is - they don't just watch the monitors.  They watch you.  How many people do you suppose scratch and wipe and make noises with accompanying odors that have nothing to do with the sleep study, but someone is observing anyway?  I mean - there could be people behind a window making a drinking game out of every time you *insert disgusting action here*.  Again, you just. don't. know.


I guess I'll risk the ridicule to find out why I don't sleep well anymore when it used to be one of my specialties.  Oh I was a champion sleeper!  Now - I toss and turn all night long.  And I am so tired.  I won't bring my pillows or a favorite blanket or anything, but you can bet I will bring my laptop and Eeyore.  Yes, I sleep with Eeyore.  He comes with me.  I mean really, you need someone to blame the rude stuff on, don't you?

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All is well, I can breathe again.

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I received my money back today for my Ambien fueled purchase last week.  Was that last week?  I don't even know.  But I only had to make one phone call and TA DA!!

You won't find one single little Ambien pill in my house anywhere, and you can bet I can do without now.  If I didn't learn from this lesson, I'm a damn fool.

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