At what point ....

. . . did this guy realize what a really bad idea this was?



Can you say OUCH???

Seriously? Maybe not.

Holy Cow I just got hit on the head and recalled that I have not updated this since they let me out!... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.

I am frantic with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, choosing my retirement village, just generally being a pain to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day seems to involve the authorities from sun-up to well after sun-down. I am avoiding recapture. my kids think I don't make sense any more.

I totally promise if one more person emails me to ask why I haven't posted today I will start posting pictures of toe fungus, or fecal murals. Seriously! This is for my ever faithful, devoted public..


..... okay, maybe that wasn't me. Lady Banana finds the coolest things when she is home sick (hope she feels better) - give it a try! The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator. What fun! And I am feeling quite lazy.

Maxine Monday

I, MAXINE, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

glass of wine
bloody Mary
chocolate
Margarita
chocolate
martini
cold beer
chocolate
chicken fried steak
chocolate
cream gravy
chocolate
french fries
pizza
chocolate
ice cream
chocolate
cup of tea
chocolate
sex
chocolate


It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is
reached. I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the
plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

It's an interesting question.

I need to go back to the doctor.

I should have known my doctor wouldn't be mad at me when he saw my bloodwork. He doesn't care enough for that! He ordered some more tests, raised the dosage on my thyroid meds and told me to lose weight. Then in response to my complaint about aging he told me how his wife told him that he's so old now none of his female patients bother to shave their legs for him anymore. I bit my tongue because I really wanted to point out that he's losing his hair too but he looked like he was having a bad day.

Actually he's a good doctor, just a smart-ass so I give it as good as I get from him. Usually. He looked tired and I was in a good mood so I gave him a break.

Did the grocery shopping after the doctor, I know I have mentioned how I hate to do it. I went in to get a few things and $260.00 later I was done. Yikes. All I wanted was the stuff to make meat loaf. I've had a taste for it lately and I figured that I needed to start cooking more so I stopped at the store.

I cook so rarely that when I do - my son always thanks me like I've done something extra special for him. I almost have to give him permission to eat it, that's how pathetic it is. But true to form - he's working 2:00pm to God only knows when tonight, one of the reasons I stopped cooking anyway. Nobody was ever around to eat what I made. Still - I want me some meat loaf and I aim to have it.

The scary part though, is that I bought the stuff to cook on other days too. And I just popped into the kitchen and made a cucumber salad. Something is wrong with me. Seriously wrong with me. I think I'd better head back to the doctor.