Do you hear a chorus of angels?

Yes I do, I hear angels singing.



Just your garden variety, drug store kind of chocolate. In a jar. In copious amounts.



Because I have found out I do better if it's simply in the house. I eat less of it than if I make a special trip to find something sweet.



At least that's my story and ... you know the rest of it.

Maxine Monday

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I've had better days

Last week it was a kidney stone. Now it's the flu. Fever, aches, the requisite purging of bodily fluids and such.

Went to work this morning feeling like something was off - not quite in touch with anything specific though. Until I went to the bathroom and lost the tea I had before I got there. That's a first for me, something I hope never to repeat. When you are in the throes of sickness - home is where you want to be, not in a stall puking into one of those little waxy bags (clean thank God) they line the napkin container with.

So I went back home.

Ibuprophen is my friend, it has helped the aches quite a bit. Crackers are not quite yummy - but so far have stayed where they were put and 7-Up - my hero.

Still - after sleeping uncomfortably off and on all day I am tired and headache-y and my stomach is protesting that I have put things in it - and that I haven't put things in it. We have some wonderful grapes and cherries in the fridge but I don't dare.

Must lay down again. The cats like it when I am sick. I don't have the energy to tell them to go away so they pile on me, outline my body on the bed or couch. I will leave you with this video - shamelessly stolen from Peace of my Mind because it is my life. Except I'm a girl. And I have more than one cat.

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So this is the question -

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I got married a million years ago. Okay, 1981. I got divorced in 1995. Officially. Two days after I got married my mother-in-law took my wedding dress to a dry cleaners and had it cleaned and preserved. I am not sure exactly what they do when they preserve a dress, but it came back sealed in a big white box, inside a heavy plastic bag having endured whatever hocus pocus we paid to have done to it. Never to be opened. To open it would break the seal and maybe the white would turn yellow and the lace would turn to dust. I don't know. But I have never opened it.


The dress has traveled with me and lived in attics and closets and garages. At some point it occurred to me that having never opened the box I can only assume it really is my dress. What if there was a mix-up and I got someone else's dress? Hell, what if it isn't even a wedding dress? Could be almost anything I guess. Well, no matter. I'm not opening it.


My daughter says she won't want to wear the dress, and I have no emotional attachment to it beyond that. What do you do with an old wedding dress you don't have a use for anymore? I am thinking about selling it. But I'm thinking about selling it - in the box - unopened still. Probably on eBay. What do you think? Will anyone buy a teeny tiny wedding dress that's been preserved inside a box for over 25 years - on the basis of a few pictures and a description? With the caveat that I cannot guarantee what's in there?


I thought it would be fun that way, kind of like buying the mystery box - taking a chance on size and condition and style. Because I really don't have any good pictures of the dress. It was my wedding dress and I have pictures from my wedding but looking through them I realize I don't have many that showcase the dress very well. It wasn't a very fancy dress, I didn't have a train and chose not to wear a veil. I wore my hair the way I wore it every day back then, in a nice 80's curly perm. Didn't wear a lot of makeup but goodness knows I had pantyhose on! Who WOULDN'T wear pantyhose when it was an 85 degree June day in 1981??? No pantyhose? I don't think so. Wouldn't have been right.


People buy grilled cheese sandwiches with religious icons toasted into the side, people sell (and someone buys) their wisdom teeth. My favorite - someone sold the naming rights to their as yet unborn baby for $15,000.00. Of course this little girl will have to go through life with the moniker of Golden Palace Benedetto, but hey - there are always nicknames!


It's a size 8 by the way. Not that that's accurate. At the time I usually wore a size 5 or maybe a 7 in a dress, you can see I was a tiny little thing. Back then. Sigh-h-h.


So should I try it? Anybody have any suggestions to liven up the description - to spice up the sale? I'm open to ideas!


**Edited to add - That's my father in the pictures by the way, in case there was any doubt about the age and or creepiness of the man I married.

Nothin'

Yeah so I got nothin'. The kidney stone has quieted down and hasn't bothered me for a whole day and a half. My daughter and I worked on cleaning out the garage yesterday, today the garbage guys took away about 10 bags of garbage, a slew of empty boxes and the junk guy scored an old exercise bike and computer. Last week we put out a comparable amount and we still aren't done.

Not my favorite activity. I'm trying to convince Dani that there aren't only 2 choices. She thinks it should either be - garbage, or garage sale. She doesn't think we should keep any of the stuff that's stored in the garage. She wanted to get rid of my turkey platter! I mean - I know it only gets used once a year, maybe, but I'm not getting rid of it.

I did part with 2 vacuum cleaners last week, there was a TV out there and next week it will probably be an old computer monitor as well as whatever we bag. Yes, we have junk. But we also gave about 5 full bags of clothes to the YWCA and will probably give them just as much again if not more.

I still have an old seat from a horse drawn fire truck from .. uh .. whenever fire trucks were pulled by horses. Have no idea what to do with it - I figure someone out there would be interested in it. My old jeans from the 80's, not so much.

Had a nice 4 day weekend and spent 2 days nursing the kidney stone, 1 day doing nothing and 1 day being relatively productive. Not a good average. And now tomorrow I go back to work and I hardly got anything done around here. At least - relatively speaking.

Yeah, like I said - I got nothin'. I guess that's not so bad when you consider how much time any of us really gets to do nothin'.

Maxine Monday

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Mm-m-m... cranberry juice...

I asked for a couple of days off work, this coming Monday and Tuesday, so how do you think I’m starting my 4 day weekend? Guzzling cranberry juice and experiencing kidney pain. Gah!

About 10 years ago I had a kidney stone. About a year later – I had another one. Apparently I am not able to pass a kidney stone myself – they had to be ‘retrieved’. The second one couldn’t even be removed on the first try, I had to have a stent put in between my kidney and my bladder and got to pee blood through a strainer for a month before that one would come out. Yay me!

Last night sitting on the couch I started to have pain in the area of my right kidney. That’s the famous stone producing kidney. Lots of pain. I thought I might have to go to the hospital but seeing as all they do is pump fluids and pain meds into you, I figured I would last as long as I could first.

Finally I took 6 extra strength Tylenols and went to bed and rocked myself to sleep. This morning (who am I kidding – it was noon) the pain was more like an ache. I showered and put makeup on thinking that if I did have to go to the hospital I would at least look presentable. But instead of the E.R. I ran to the store and got cranberry juice and Ibuprophen.

So now while some of you nice ladies out there are winging your way to BlogHer – I am at home, in pain, on my 2^nd 16 oz glass of cranberry juice. I’m sure I’ll be fine, and I doubt many of you will be reading my blog while you’re gone. But if you do stop by – just think about me, okay? Have a drink and maybe float a toast out there for me, will ya?

I’m really grateful I hadn’t planned on going cause this would have made it a real drag!

We interrupt this program for ..

C*

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Which dwarf are you?

It’s probably a good thing not many men read my blog. Because I’m here to tell you that while I am looking forward to the many rewards of menopause, peri-menopause sucks!

I really should be at the tail end of this stage what with almost being 50 and all. And seeing as the last 10 years have seen me losing my mind and my regularity – why on God’s green earth would my body decide to get hot flashes NOW!?!?

Shouldn’t I have had that particular symptom a while back? When I started experiencing all the other things that would make an insanity defense a viable option at some point, I would have thought hot flashes would have come with the territory.

One of the girls I work with (who thankfully is older than I am) said to me “Oh I bet you’re just going to sail through the whole thing without any symptoms at all!” Today when I walked into the office with my top clinging to my back and beads of sweat popping out on my forehead I had to say “Well??!! Are you happy???”

Sure I’ve had a night sweat or two, but it’s been rare. Nothing to write home about, really. My sleep problems? A bit disconcerting because I’ve always been a champion sleeper but I’ll deal with it. Losing my mind, forgetting things (okay everything) – THAT one bothers me. But I forget why. Headaches – a few here and there, never too bad. Thinning hair – well – as long as I keep most of it I’m okay. Mood swings? Well yeah, there is that. And we won't even talk about coughing or sneezing! But hot flashes? I thought I was dodging that bullet.

I tell you what. There’s nothing like getting up on a cool summer morning with a nice breeze in the house, taking a shower, and then breaking out in a full sweat putting your lunch together before even leaving the house - to make you feel all girly and attractive! Yummy!

Maxine Monday

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It's the little things ...

Tonight my daughter looked at me, rolled her eyes and said "you care too much."

She was referring to the 'back to the top' icon I just added to my blogs. At the bottom on the right. Look, I'll wait. I believe it was Stimey's blog I was reading when she mentioned Blogger Buster. Always up for new widgets and gadgets I bookmarked the site knowing I would end up there at some point.


I don't know why I like to mess with this stuff. My desktop icons have changed with every new wallpaper I find, and I obsessively search the interwebs for pictures to create my own screen savers. I have so many pictures I had to get an external hard drive just to store them.


Tonight I finally went to Blogger Buster and decided I would try to put the 'back to the top' button on my blogs. Amanda, who writes the blog gave instructions on how to customize the icon and that's all she had to say. I was off. Two hours later - literally - I had found the icon I wanted to use and put it on this - and my photo blog. TWO hours I spent.


While showing my daughter the icon I was ridiculously happy that I had found the right up-arrow, had installed it and made it work. Seriously. Giddy, even. Her comment didn't dampen my spirits one bit.


When I got my first PC in oh ... 2000 or 2001 - I was actually wondering where I could find some kind of directory for the internet, you know, a catalog - preferably alphabetized, of all the sites on the internet. I figured somebody had to have come out with one! Considering that - I think I've come a long way. So if a little button on my blog makes me happy I say - woo hoo! Why not? It IS the little things, right?


Try my button. Go back to the top, on me.

A bit of advice for the blissfully ignorant.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to shop? I seem to be missing that shopping gene. I can shop online like a champ but braving the stores? Not so much.


So what was I, who has worn jeans and gym shoes to work almost every day for the last 20 years (give or take an aberration or two), to do when my company decided to change the dress code? Or maybe it's more like, enforce the dress code, I'm not really sure. It has always differed from department to department and mine has always been relaxed. Very.


I haven't been in a dressing room in years. Literally, unless you count waiting for my daughter to try things on and to oooh and ahhh over her selections.


There really was no choice so my daughter was nice enough to accompany me on a guerrilla shopping trip. OH the humanity! You would think that stores that are trying to sell you clothing would make the lighting and mirrors more flattering, wouldn't you? I mean - almost to the point of making them like fun-house mirrors? I would rather see the distortion than the real thing.


One time a long time ago I went bathing suit shopping with a friend of mine who was a size 3 with breast implants. I should have just shot myself in the head before I even got in the car. THIS shopping trip was worse. I cannot even describe to you my horror.


Dani was upset when I told her she needed to think more about dressing - say - Humpty Dumpty when she made her style recommendations, as opposed to dressing Stacy London. She (Dani not Stacy) is very sensitive and very much a feminist. She hates the fact that I might feel bad about myself because of what the world says I should look like. I ended up assuring her I don't hate myself, I'm way too arrogant for that. But I'm not real fond of how I look.


We soldiered on, laughing (me) so I wouldn't cry, and actually buying more work appropriate attire. I went shopping again by myself after work tonight, and all I really have to do now is get some more shoes and I will be fine for now.


Shoes. Another story entirely. My feet are like Flintstone feet. If you don't know what I mean - watch the cartoon and look at Fred and Barney's feet. Not Wilma or Betty's little Barbie feet. Look at the broad blocky feet that would qualify as a wide wheel base for a car in another life. And then picture them in some cute trendy shoes. Sigh-h-h.


Yeah, I can hear you laughing. I'll have to regale you with that shopping trip next. But in the meantime there may be a lesson to learn from this. Try to expose yourself to dressing room mirrors and shop lighting at least once every few months. Even if you don't buy anything. Stand there and look at yourself, the backs of your legs even. Gah. I know, it's hard. But at least then you won't embarrass your child when she sees you bursting into tears the first time you see what you really look like after avoiding it for so long. (Not to mention throwing yourself on the floor and screaming "WHY?!?!" and blathering on like a backward idiot. Why are you so dramatic?)


She may be permanently scarred, I'm not sure.


Please. Make the shopping I did - as painful as it was - not be in vain. Learn from my mistakes, I beg you.

Having the last word...

I cannot speak for anyone else, only myself. I don't go onto message boards and argue with people. But there are times I am on my computer - and it's always just one more thing. Wait, I need to look at this one thing. Need to check on that, etc. Because whatever it is can't wait till tomorrow, can it?



Wait. It IS tomorrow. Doggone it.

Maxine Monday

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Yay me!

Did a little bit of weeding yesterday, stretched my back out and got it sore. Yay me. Yesterday evening I decided I would walk toward the fireworks. I knew if I walked far enough down this one street I would come to the creek. The fireworks are normally set off every year near that creek - just further down from where I was. But - I walked and walked and when I got there - there were other people with the same idea. I just plopped down onto the grass, no blanket or anything, and the grass was quite damp.


Still - I haven't seen any fireworks for a few years so I was going to sit, wet grass or not. Obnoxious teenagers behind me, or not. All I could think of was - I hope I was not that disgustingly obnoxious and inconsiderate when I was their age. I remember being somewhat oblivious to other people around us then, but I do not remember purposely raising our voices and saying rude things loud enough for anyone, including the elderly or small children to hear.


Fireworks are hard to ruin, the only part I regret was not getting a bit closer because I could not see any of the ground displays and the thundering booms just aren't quite the same when you're not up close. Besides, when it was done - I had to turn around and walk back home for a total of almost 3 miles round trip. While I didn't walk fast - it still couldn't have hurt me. I saw fireworks, and had some exercise. It was a good night.


But I am one of those people who can get completely bit up by small bugs or mosquito's and have no idea for days. Literally. My ankles are starting to itch, and on one side of one of my knees....
UGH! I'm one of those people who will scratch till I bleed. Hoping it doesn't get that bad.


Add to that - I put a computer desk together tonight. A simple one, but still. Considering that lately, opening a jar of jelly hurts my hands, you can imagine how that arthritis in my thumbs is feeling right now. Can you say SCREAMING,BURNING PAIN? Yeah, like that. Thank God I have a drill or I would be weeping instead of whining. I've taken some Tylenol for Arthritis pain and am getting ready to go to bed.


Tomorrow? Laundry. Laundry and vacuuming and all that stuff. Fun!!!

~ Home Sweet Home ~

Enjoy the holiday!


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missed opportunities

Publisher's Clearing House came knocking ..er..emailing - and I lost out. I navigated away from that page. Do you think I'll ever hear from them again?

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And those people from the U.K. Lottery who keep trying to "officially notify" me - are they for real too? Maybe I should respond the next time they try to contact me. I don't want that to be a missed opportunity too.

Puh-lease!

Another day in paradise

Today was one of those long days at work, knowing it’s a short week but having too much to do to enjoy the anticipation. The weather was beautiful, nice and warm with a nice breeze. And of course I was indoors at my desk. At least I have a window.

I really like my desk, I like the people I work with but today I couldn’t think. Without going into job threatening details, there have been a lot of changes lately, leaving me the only one who does what I do in our little area.

Just by the nature of their jobs – the people around me tend to get loud. They call out to each other and walk from one end of the department to the other talking as they go, regardless of whether they are standing right next to your cube or not, or whether you might be on the phone with, I don’t know, a client maybe?

I try not to get upset because I know it’s because we do different jobs now, my job is more solitary and more analytical and if you’re me and easily distracted – it requires a certain degree of calm and lots of concentration.

On the other hand, I have been working with some of these people since forever, and the idea of leaving them makes me crazy. I get very attached. I love the easy banter and all the laughter, the closeness of some of the relationships.

But it’s very hard to do my job sometimes.

Today – I wore earplugs. Literally. You squeeze these little foam rubber thingy’s or roll them in your fingers, quick stick them in your ears and then feel them expand. Kind of cool and they really help, but after a while my ears start to feel a little itchy and they kind of sting.

I might have to ask my boss to move me.

I still work in a cubicle world, but this is the first time ever that I have a desk with a big bright window, clean carpets and less traffic on my drive to and from work. And it would make me incredibly sad to leave the people I have worked side by side with for so very long. I haven’t made up my mind but it’s something I really have to think about.

Then to cap off my perfect day – I came home and whacked my little toe against the wall going around a corner too fast and I think I broke it. My toe, not the wall. Or sprained it. Or whatever you do to a pinky toe when you smack it really hard. The result is the same, it hurts and turns colors. And to think today was the day I was going to start jogging. *cough*

It feels like a Monday. Thank God it’s not.