This guy?

Sleeps like the dead.  Unless his stomach is growling he doesn't wake up when someone comes in the room or makes normal household noises. 

Unless of course, it is about 3:00 am.  Then he gets up and wanders the house - yowling.  I've read that it's not unusual for elderly cats to wander at night, to seem confused and to vocalize.  My crabby ol' man cat qualifies as elderly and he's certainly doing those things.  It has been suggested that I open the door and allow him to make the choice.  But how can I punish him if he has kitty-Alzheimer's?


Sigh-h-h.


He's lucky I love him.  Oh well, I've played the caretaker role before ...


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Not the look I was going for ..

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So do you think I can put my super duper revitalizing, firming, wrinkle-reducing, skin cream on at night?

Yikes!

S'cuse the blur - no glasses on!

Looks like a slick cassette player, doesn't it?  

I set it up and fitted the mask, and laid down for a couple minutes to try it on my side, see how well I could turn over, see if the mask leaked in different positions, etc.  I was kind of hoping the machine would scare the cats so I could sleep without any of them demanding to be let under the covers or anything but Riley came in and purred while he sniffed the mask.  He seemed intrigued by the exhalation holes and the air coming out of them.  Oh great - he thinks it's cool.  


Oops - shiny objects - forgot I had a post sitting here unpublished.  I'll let you know how my sleep goes!

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Still tired and still confused and upset about Jason's kid!

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Last night was the second sleep study and it was different from the first in that the technician I had was more experienced than the first, and knew all the tricks to making the 592 wires (of course that is either approximate or wildly exaggerated) less obtrusive.  She ran wires under my pajamas so they weren't as easy for me to get caught up in and made it easier to turn over and generally get into a more comfortable position.  Her name was Janet and I cannot tell you what self restraint it took on my part to not say "damn-it Janet" lest I use the reference she has probably heard every day since Rocky Horror came out.


This time I slept using the cpap machine, forcing humidified air into my nose all night.  Once I got past my initial twinge of claustrophobia (the only air I can breathe is coming through this mask and I'm not sure it feels like enough ...!) I was fine.  A friend of mine uses one of these and says that she frequently wakes up with the mask on the floor next to the bed or on the pillow next to her head so I was surprised I slept with it on my face with little difficulty all night.


I took a sleeping pill when I got there which I'm sure helped me fall asleep, but it apparently still took me a good 4 hours before I got into REM sleep.  I don't know what any of it means, I have to wait for the pulmonologist to review the results to see what the recommendations are.


I don't expect miracles but I would like to feel rested - at least some of the time.  Came home and napped for a good part of the day, now I have a headache and am all stuffed up after watching some episodes of General Hospital from last week that made me cry, cry, and cry some more.  Y'know they have pulled this before, killing somebodies kid so another kid can be saved because of the miracle of their friend giving one of their organs to their child .. but this time the kid who died was Jason's.  Jason doesn't cry.  So when Jason cried, I cried.  A lot.  Sheesh.


Going to go to bed early and sleep some more so I can get some things done tomorrow.  The weekend is never long enough.


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Be careful what you wish for!

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I really always did want to do a sleep study.  And while it was miserable and I felt like I never slept what with all those wires all over me, I was still glad I did it.  But I never wished to do it TWICE!


Yeah, got my results today.  Mild sleep apnea during non-REM sleep.  If there is apnea during non-REM sleep, there is probably more severe apnea during REM sleep.  Unfortunately when I had my sleep study, I never got into a good REM stage of sleep.  So basically I was barely asleep all night which is how I feel most nights.  And they want me to do it again, with something to help me get into REM sleep.  Not Ambien but something similar.  


Won't have my laptop with me so I won't shop.


One sleep study is cool, two?  Cruel and unusual punishment.  


But, since I would like to know what it feels like to wake up actually feeling like I have rested, I will do it again.  Besides, did you know that if you do not sleep well your metabolism slows down and makes it more difficult to lose weight?  


Me neither.  And either that's true or these people have already figured me out and know what to tell me to motivate me.


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Should have been called my AWAKE study!

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So yeah, the sleep study.  The room was like a nice hotel room, everything was done in muted tones, the tech assigned to me was incredibly professional and the whole thing was done in such a way to be almost soothing, geared toward making everything as smooth as possible to allow you to relax and and be able to progress toward a restful night's sleep.


FAT CHANCE!!!

Not me, but you get the idea

I knew there would be wires.  Let me see if I can remember.  There were two wires attached to each leg.  A wire on each side of my neck, one under my chin, one on my chin, one on either side of my face at the outside of my eyes.  There was one wire behind each ear, and five attached to my scalp.  Then of course there was the cannula that went into my nose with the tubing tucked around each ear.  Oh wait - there was a belt wrapped tightly around my chest with wires coming from that, and one around my waist with wires there too.  


All the wires were brought around behind me and fastened together and plugged into a little box which went into a cable that went into some place that allowed my tech, Oscar, to tell whether or not my eyes were open or closed or whether my right foot twitched or my left.  He could tell if I was dreaming or if I was only on the edge of sleep.  


In total there were over twenty wires, some of them stuck to my scalp with gumball sized wads of gooey gluey stuff.  Wait!  There was also one wire on the front of my chest and one on my back.  Make that over 22 wires.  So, I didn't sleep much.  I never felt I was able get comfortable or turn as much as I usually do.  I must have slept some but I don't think it was much.  I showered and left, came home and slept for 6 hours.  


And I'm still picking adhesive off my skin and goobers of glue out of my hair.  Still .. I'm curious to see what the results will show. 


**Edited to add - the photo of the tile - that was the bathroom floor.  I liked it, and thought I mentioned it in my post.  Apparently not, so it appeared to be a random photo of tile stuck into the post for no reason.  And I did that after I had gotten sleep!  Sigh ...


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More later

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Just got home from my sleep study.

Will tell you about it after I get some real sleep!


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Risking the rude stuff

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I'm supposed to have a sleep study done pretty soon.  Hopefully.  My reaction?  "Coo-o-o-o-o-l!!"  I've always thought it sounded like a neat thing to do.  A friend of mine had one recently and found out she stopped breathing 4 times during the night.  Not sure I want to know that.  But on the other hand, it's still cool to go somewhere and get all wired up and find out what you do at the one time every day that you have no idea what you are doing.  I mean really.  You could be sleep walking, you could be crank calling strangers.  Of course you could be sleeping peacefully and not making a sound, or you could be snorting like a pig and baying like a beagle.  You. Don't. Know.  


So I am hoping to do this in the next month or so.  From what I have been told they recommend you bring your own pillows if that will make you comfortable, your favorite jammies, a book, your laptop, whatever will help you feel at home and contribute to the most normal sleep you can get away from home with goobered up wires stuck in your hair and down your shirt and wherever else they put them.  


The only creepy thing about it to me is - they don't just watch the monitors.  They watch you.  How many people do you suppose scratch and wipe and make noises with accompanying odors that have nothing to do with the sleep study, but someone is observing anyway?  I mean - there could be people behind a window making a drinking game out of every time you *insert disgusting action here*.  Again, you just. don't. know.


I guess I'll risk the ridicule to find out why I don't sleep well anymore when it used to be one of my specialties.  Oh I was a champion sleeper!  Now - I toss and turn all night long.  And I am so tired.  I won't bring my pillows or a favorite blanket or anything, but you can bet I will bring my laptop and Eeyore.  Yes, I sleep with Eeyore.  He comes with me.  I mean really, you need someone to blame the rude stuff on, don't you?

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This is one kitty who knows how to relax.

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Morning and I are not friends.

..and I really believe this.

It's almost here!!

Going back to work after having a week off is a bit disorienting, but I'm having more trouble at home than at work. Sunday night I was really good. I made sure whatever I needed to do for morning was done early, I was ready for bed early, watched TV and drank some nice hot tea. Without caffeine. I went to bed at about 11:30 which is pretty good for me when I've been staying up late and sleeping in for a week.

Falling asleep took me longer than usual but that was to be expected. What surprised me was waking up at least 3 hours before I needed to get up, and tossing and turning until my alarm went off.

It happened again last night - or maybe I should say - this morning. I was laying there conscious of being awake but thinking things in a dreamlike way. And thinking about things that I don't normally think about, nor do I want to. It's as if my subconscious is taking advantage of my being only half awake to bring up old hurts or choices that during my normal waking hours I have put to rest a long time ago. Throw in new concerns and worries and you get insomnia soup. All this stuff runs through my head and I can't stop it unless I turn on my TV and focus on something else. That's what I did at about 3:00 in the morning today, and I finally fell back to sleep. Just in time to be aware of being awoken from a very satisfyingly deep sleep, by my alarm clock, of course. UGH!!!

As a result of this interrupted sleep I feel like a zombie.

Christmas can't come soon enough for me. I won't get to sleep too late, my daughter will wake up first and head for her stocking. When she tires of being alone she will go wake up my son. I will start to hear them talking quietly in the living room, and hearing the tinkle of the bells on their stockings. When Dani thinks it's 'safe' - she will come and wake me up.

*opening gifts, opening gifts, opening gifts...*

By afternoon the kids will be showered and ready to go to their grandparents house for the 2nd half of Christmas day. And when they go the house will be quiet. Just me and the kitties. And by then - I will be ready, willing, and able to take a NAP!!

I'm counting the hours. Because it doesn't seem like I'm going to get a full night's sleep anytime soon.

Remember Simon's cat?

Not sure if I ever posted this or not, but it's been around a lot. I love it, it is SO classic cat. Except the ending of course. I don't think any of my cats have resorted to that yet.

That one is great, and so is this one. Life really does imitate art.

I suppose my trophies ARE a bit tarnished ..

Everybody has something they are good at. Something they have worked really hard at or something that comes as naturally to them as breathing. Or – sleeping.

I have always excelled at sleeping. If there was a gold medal, a blue ribbon, or a trophy for snoozing, I would have it. I would have to have a separate room just for my awards; I have always done it so well.

But I have been so tired this past year or so, all I have wanted to do is sleep. I have to force myself to get up in the morning, yawn all day, and daydream about taking a nap as soon as I get home from work. Frequently during the day I can be heard exclaiming “I’m dying here.”

On the weekend it’s not unusual for me to simply not wake up till noon or later. And then – 2 or 3 hours later – curling up on the couch for a nap. Except my naps are like a nights’ sleep for some people. 3 hour naps would be considered the norm for me.

I have always marveled at people who just wake up in the morning – early in the morning, which means any time before 10:00. And not only wake up, actually get up and out of bed. If I wake up early it’s only to trudge to the bathroom or clumsily turn over – and then I’m back to sleep again before you know it.

My doctor suggested that maybe with all this sleeping and never feeling rested, I am not sleeping well. My reaction was “What??? I sleep like a champ!” It never ever in a million years would have occurred to me that I am not actually getting good sleep. Heck, I thought ALL sleep was good sleep!

So when he suggested I try taking something to help me sleep, a test, to see if it would be a different kind of sleep, I balked. “I don’t need anything to sleep, wanna see? I’ll lay down right here on this narrow paper-covered exam table and show you! Just give me 10 minutes.”

I ended up agreeing to his little experiment, more out of desperation than anything else. I am so tired of being tired.

I have been taking mama’s little helper for a week now. Getting to bed at approximately the same time every night, and getting up at my usual time in the morning. I haven’t taken any naps, although there have been days that by 8:00pm I am just waiting for it to be 10:00 o’clock so I can take a quick shower, get my stuff ready for morning, and climb into bed.

This morning, Sunday, I woke up at an ungodly hour. I laid there for a while, looking at the cats that were surrounding me sensing that I was awake and would soon be the bearer of food. I looked at the clock, closed my eyes again, somewhat confused. Confused, because I was awake. I probably could have gone back to sleep if I tried, but I didn’t feel like I needed to try.

I don’t really have an addictive personality, unless you count cigarettes which I did finally quit, and carbs which I haven’t. But I have had diet pills – nah – tossed them in a drawer. Anti-anxiety meds – quit taking them when I felt I didn’t need them anymore. So I am not worried about taking this medication for too long or in a way that isn’t good for me.

It’s only been a week. I don’t want to get too excited. I can’t jump to any conclusions or give my doctor any credit (especially since he’s such a smart-ass) when the experiment is only 7 days old.

But this morning? This morning I woke up all on my own, without an alarm or a cat touching my face with her paw. I didn’t wake up because I had to pee or to turn over. And this morning, I got out of bed at 8:30 am. And not because I had to.

For a lot of people that’s normal. For me? Momentous!

I haven't been to Africa

I think I have a sleeping sickness. Sleep is a coping mechanism for me when I am depressed. My whole family is like that actually. Most people toss and turn, I sleep like a baby. And keep on sleeping. But I am not depressed right now. My kids are doing great, I just got a new position at work, the BF is wonderful as usual, I am downright giddy! And yet, I sleep.

I come home from work most days in a hurry to take a nap. Can't wait, love it, actually. But I am not one of those lay my head down, snooze for a half hour and wake up refreshed people. I sleep about three hours, sometimes more. When I wake up I am awake for a couple of hours and then it is back to bed for the night.

I am a night person by nature. If given the chance my hours would probably be reversed from most of the rest of the world. I struggle with getting up in the morning and frequently will try to make sure I get to bed early to make sure I have plenty of sleep and wake up feeling good in the morning. But it seems that no matter what time I go to bed the night before, I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Or in the afternoon which the case may be on the weekend.

Today was not unusual. I got home from work at about 5:45, and by 6:15 I was laying down on the couch for a nap. I woke up about 8:00pm, got up to go to the bathroom and then it was right back down in a groggy heap on the couch where I fell right back to sleep until 10:30.

I know the best thing I can do is to keep a regular schedule. Get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every night, and no napping. Somehow I am never able to achieve that, the call of the nap is so tempting and I am so weak willed. But as a result I can sleep hours upon hours and am never fully refreshed. Plus, on the weekend, it's not unusual for me to sleep past noon and get very little done during the day. And to make matters worse, if I allowed myself to do it - I could sleep past noon, get up, be awake for a couple of hours and be ready to sleep again. I rarely allow myself to do that, but when I have - I have slept away whole days.

I haven't been to Africa, haven't picked up any funky little parasites lately, yet I seem to just want to sleep. A lot. And really, I'm not depressed! I promise! I have thyroid meds but really the doctor says they are practically unnecessary so I suspect he is just placating me. The last time I went to see him I handed him a list of all my complaints and told him I was tired of it, pun not intended, and told him to fix it. I also told him it was his fault, just for good measure.

I guess his Honey-do list is longer than I thought cause it sure isn't fixed yet.

I would like to feel awake like most people do, have energy and get things done. It's a vicious circle, because I know exercise would help. But who can exercise when they are napping? Okay, this is turning into whining and I don't want to do that. But I really would like to feel normal. I know doggone well that I'm not suddenly going to discover more hours in the day, or wake up one day to discover that morning has been moved to later on in the day. It's always going to be early. Sigh-h-h.

Time to go to bed. Nite y'all!

*Just a thought; is it possible I am morphing into a cat? Just askin'.