Dietary restrictions

Mom called today. She called to tell me she's on her way to see me. Yeah, on November 19th! She scared me for a second there. First thing she asked me was
"Will Dani be home?"

I answered, "I don't know Mom, she doesn't live at home anymore, and she's in school y'know."

"Oh." Disappointed.

"Well, I asked her if she wants to come home for Thanksgiving, but y'know she and Dan are both vegetarian so I'm not sure what we would make."

Mom informed me "Well I'm a partial vegetarian."

"Okay Mom, what's a partial vegetarian?"

"I don't eat beef."

I was surprised. I mean I knew she was never a big meat eater, period. But she never really showed a preference for one kind over another. And she's always liked Burger King!

"You don't eat beef? At all? Don't you like steak?"

"No, I don't like steak. Well, I like medium rare ... um ... rib eye?"

"That's a type of steak Mom. Roast beef?"

"No, I don't eat beef."

I tried again. "What about pot roast? You used to love pot roast. That's beef."

"No. I don't like pot roast. I like chicken."

"Okay Mom, well when you get here we'll go shopping and decide what to buy. What do you like to eat?"

"Stouffers. If it's on sale. That's good."

"Uh . . I haven't been eating much frozen food at all lately, Mom."

*crickets*

"Well what DO you eat?"

I answered "Well, I've been eating a lot of salads and fruit . . . "

*crickets*

"You mean ... you cook REAL food?"

Oh good Lord.