Their powers are too strong ..

Every weekend I look forward to sleeping late Saturday and Sunday mornings. And every weekend there are 4 cats who work together to keep that from happening.

First culprit, Riley. He starts by making Marge Simpson "mmmmm" noises. With his thyroid disorder he is hungry all. the. time. Yet he does have dry food out all. the. time. But when the sun starts to even hint at rising Riley knows in his heart of hearts it is time for that wet nasty food that comes out of a can. So he mmm's from the floor next to the bed, he mmms from the night table next to the bed, then he meows in my face standing half on the night table and half on the bed. If I don't open my eyes for a while, sometimes - he goes away.

Next is Jake. Jake starts by yodeling plaintively from the bathroom because you know the 2 bowls of water in the kitchen and the cup of water on the bathroom sink are not enough, she needs me to sit on the toilet while she drinks to make it satisfying. When I don't come to her calls she comes to me. She meows from the floor next to the bed before she jumps up. Her next course of action is to touch my face. The pads of her paws are always cold and she touches my cheek, my nose, my mouth. She gets so close that if I open my eyes she looks all distorted like one of those big-headed aliens with those huge dark almond shaped eyes. But - Jake can be bought. I lift the covers and let her crawl under and she will turn around and rest her head on my arm and settle in for a nap with me. I win for a little while longer.

That is - until Norah decides it's time to wake me. Norah is a big kitty, a full-figured girl. So when she jumps up on the bed these days I usually feel it. She has a teeny tiny meow and she rarely uses it. She uses her annoyance ability. She goes to the night table by the window and climbs up on the radio, sticking her head behind the blinds. For a second. She pulls her head back and the blinds smack against the window. She does it again. And again. I almost always have to say something or wave my hand to get her to stop. But she's nothing if not persistent - next she goes for the box of kleenex. It's on a sewing table at the end of the bed. She tries to eat it. She pulls an individual tissue out of the box and chews it and if she can't get it out of the box (which is almost always) she grabs hold and tosses her head - which flings the box onto the bed. Once there - she grabs tissue with her mouth and shreds it, picking and choosing which pieces she wants to ingest.

Norah really is the sweetest cat but omg she can be irritating. When I shoo her away from the kleenex she decides she will jump up onto my dresser which can be a delicate business because of the cluttered nature of the top of the dresser. Norah is not delicate. She does several rocking motions before she propels herself up and over, jostling several things, papers and bottles and pens and such. She makes a turn or 2 in place which always reminds me of the elephant (I'm sorry Norah) at the circus balancing with all 4 feet on top of a drum. Then she jumps back to the bed. She does it several times until I make her stop.

Making Norah stop her annoying activities jostles Jake who meows, alerts Riley that I am actually awake who quickly returns in full meow. I sit up and look and there are 3 cats in my room all looking at me, expecting me to get up. So I finally do. And as I make my way out of the bedroom I can see into the bead room where I see Abby (the evil one) stretch and stand and jump down from her perch where she has been observing from a comfy quilt. I suspect she uses her powers to turn the others into her evil minions to do her bidding every weekend. Once they have succeeded, she joins the rest on their way to breakfast.

I'm pretty sure I never stand a chance.