I can haz gud gramer.

I'm not sure I should type anything here, or say anything or talk about anything using the written word and or English language. Because apparently, I'm a moron!!

We have been tasked to take 2 training courses before the end of the year at work. We get to choose what we want to take out of a fairly broad curriculum. There really aren't many that actually relate to my job so I decided on some personal improvement courses.

The first one was on time management, and that was fine. Useful, even. But the second one? ARGH-H-H!!!

The second class was a basic grammar class. BASIC. I found as I was taking it, that not only did I not remember most of the rules, I was not learning them this time either! It just wasn't sinking in.

It started by asking about "Conjunction Junction" which should have been followed by "what's your major malfunction?" Nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs, those I'm good with. But for some reason when they got into pronouns my brain slammed shut. I don't remember nominative pronouns, or reflexive pronouns, or objective pronouns. Is it possible they were invented after I left school?

Oh, and I forgot possessive pronouns too. Although that one sounds vaguely familiar. How about idiomatic expressions, verb pairs, compound nouns, and "The basic rule for handling compound adjectives is to hyphenate the elements of the compound adjective when they occur before a noun. This is done because the words aren't in their normal order and therefore require hyphens to hold them together." Uh . . . if you say so.

I'm not confused about there, their, or they're, but yes, lay or lie, aggravate or irritate, imply or infer, there are a lot of things that trip me up. A lot.

I have "Grammar for Dummies" but I've never cracked it. I guess it's time. I may need to go back to grade school where we would spend a week on nouns, a week on verbs, etc. I may (may or might?) be able to speak (and write) properly by oh . . . 2012. Please stand by.

Thank you for your patience.