I can haz gud gramer.

I'm not sure I should type anything here, or say anything or talk about anything using the written word and or English language. Because apparently, I'm a moron!!

We have been tasked to take 2 training courses before the end of the year at work. We get to choose what we want to take out of a fairly broad curriculum. There really aren't many that actually relate to my job so I decided on some personal improvement courses.

The first one was on time management, and that was fine. Useful, even. But the second one? ARGH-H-H!!!

The second class was a basic grammar class. BASIC. I found as I was taking it, that not only did I not remember most of the rules, I was not learning them this time either! It just wasn't sinking in.

It started by asking about "Conjunction Junction" which should have been followed by "what's your major malfunction?" Nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs, those I'm good with. But for some reason when they got into pronouns my brain slammed shut. I don't remember nominative pronouns, or reflexive pronouns, or objective pronouns. Is it possible they were invented after I left school?

Oh, and I forgot possessive pronouns too. Although that one sounds vaguely familiar. How about idiomatic expressions, verb pairs, compound nouns, and "The basic rule for handling compound adjectives is to hyphenate the elements of the compound adjective when they occur before a noun. This is done because the words aren't in their normal order and therefore require hyphens to hold them together." Uh . . . if you say so.

I'm not confused about there, their, or they're, but yes, lay or lie, aggravate or irritate, imply or infer, there are a lot of things that trip me up. A lot.

I have "Grammar for Dummies" but I've never cracked it. I guess it's time. I may need to go back to grade school where we would spend a week on nouns, a week on verbs, etc. I may (may or might?) be able to speak (and write) properly by oh . . . 2012. Please stand by.

Thank you for your patience.

Why me?

Do they just email everybody they can kind of like throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks?

click to see bigger

Seriously?
Oh, and when did people start sending *certified* email?!?!??

Whine, whine, whine!

So now I've had it - about something else. This ties together 2 of my recent posts about the - being meticulous and going nuts over the details - and being fed up too! My other blog, A Picture a Day, is all good except for one thing. See how on this blog I have my date above the post and the comments below? I cannot DO that on the other blog.

This is how far I have gone. I actually replaced the original template with a different one, then changed the background, changed the header, changed the color of the body so it would all look like the old template - but with the way the new template shows the posting information. TA DA!!! Right? Aren't I clever?


Except it didn't work. I have gone into settings, layout, checked everything I know how to check, changed code for goodness sake and I cannot make it work differently! It's like it's hard-coded somewhere but I cannot figure out where. Tonight I will put back my original template so it's not a template-changed-to-look-like-another-template, and then I will wait for the cavalry. Why?? Because it bugs me!

I don't expect a lot of comments on that blog but when people DO leave them I would like it to be clear WHERE to leave them. I also like it to have the date at the top of the post and then under is - posted by: me, and the time! Is that too much to ask? But it will not let me do it. No matter how many configurations and settings I mess with, I can't make it do what I want.

And.I.don't.like.that. So, are there any HTML or XML guru's out there who might want to look at my code for me? Hey Baby, wanna see my code? Sorry. Anyway. I would really like to change that one thing and I will be happy with that blog. For now. Until I decide something else needs to be changed.

Cause I'm like that.

But this one thing has really bothered me from the get-go and then bothered me even more because I couldn't figure out how to change it. Help?

Maxine Monday

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I've had it!

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the telephone? I know I have and I do. I rarely answer it and I rarely check my messages. Some may think that's rude, but I have come to think of the phone as an intrusion. I don't get to choose when it rings and I want to be able to choose.

With that kind of animosity toward the phone, you can just imagine how I feel about solicitors at my door. I have argued with myself over the years about putting up that little black and white sign in my window "NO SOLICITING". I have never done it because putting it out there just seemed like something I should not have to do. It's MY house. If I don't know you, what the hell are you doing knocking on my door?

So today - I finally put a sign up. It is only temporary, but I am finding it necessary. This is ridiculous! Why do people feel they have the right to knock on people's doors to influence people's opinions, ask for money, or sell something? That's how I feel about soliciting in general. But for politics? Get the hell off my porch a**hole! Man it pisses me off!!!

So today - I taped a small sign on my mailbox. You can't see it unless you step onto my porch but you certainly can't ring my doorbell or knock on my door and claim you didn't see it. I just hope it works because next time I'm liable to clock someone!



Do you think it's too polite? Because it sure doesn't say what I would like to!