Maxine Monday

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.. and my porridge is a-a-al-l-l-l-l gone!

Alternatively titled:  Y'know how when you're dieting they say you should cut everything in half?
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Ever had sponge candy?  We called it sea foam candy when I was a kid.  It's crunchy and chewy yet light and airy.  Add a chocolate coating and you have heaven in an old fashioned treat. Yum!
 

Did you know you can buy stuff like that on Etsy?  Heh - with your choice of what kind of chocolate to coat it with even!  But y'know - I think I'm getting the message God!  I shouldn't be eating chocolate much less ordering wonderful sweets through the mail!  Got it loud and clear!

This box was on my porch when I got home from work today.  Didn't notice anything unusual until I drove past the porch to the spot where I park.  The box looked .. funny.  Ha ha ha.  Funny!  See the chewed spots?  I was a bit amused - until I got out of my car and saw a critter escaping from the porch to the yard and up a tree.  Cause then I saw the other end of the box.

That's Abby who wouldn't leave the box alone when I brought it into the house.  Let me guarantee you she could not have cared less about the treats in the box.  All she cared about was the wildlife she smelled on the box!  Will you look at that??  There were no Styrofoam peanuts on the concrete, but there were bits and pieces of cardboard strewn about.
 

When I got a closer look - I realized it wasn't only the outer box that had been breached.  Oh no!  This varmint had a sweet tooth, that's all I have to say!  There are actually 2 white gift boxes inside, and one of them - well I gasped when I saw the hole in it!  I don't know why I was surprised after seeing the state of the outside box but - c'mon!  This is a violation!  You don't just chew a woman's front porch delivery and then steal and eat her chocolate!  It's just not done!

Amazingly enough, one whole box was empty.  EMPTY!  This animal had been having a sweet feast on my porch for probably a good part of the afternoon.  It would have had to be practically sitting inside the big box with it's head stuck inside the smaller box - probably dizzy with the intoxicating aroma of dark chocolate and sponge candy!  I know I would've been.
 

I have to wonder if there was a crew - like a crew that chops a stolen car, or a pit crew at the races.  Because while not huge, that empty white box was at least the same size as this critter's body, minus tail of course.  And the contents probably weighed the same - do you think it could eat it's weight in chocolate covered goodness?  I mean just because I probably could, you wouldn't think a furry woodland creature would have that great a taste for it.

Of course it didn't end there.  Oh no .. if I hadn't pulled up when I did - the second box was about to be invaded too.  Oh does the horror never end??? 
I quickly looked around to see if there were anymore wild animals close by and did not see hide nor hair of the culprit(s)!  I managed to scoop up what was left of the package and bring it into the house.  Sigh-h-h.  I suspect however, that my perpetrator had moved on to find some drink to wash down all that chocolate. 

And I?  Opened up that second box and had a few pieces of lovely chocolate covered sea foam candy.  It was awesome.  Almost made me forget that I was just the victim of a heinous crime.  Mmmmm .. 



If you don't have ninja squirrels in your neighborhood, or are home during the day to receive a package, you really ought to try some homemade candy.  And do me a favor, have some for me, will you please? 


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I think not!

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Remember my little microscope?  I lost it.  Okay maybe saying 'lost' is not entirely accurate.  I put it away.  You know, put it away because everything should have a place so I found a place and put it there.  It didn't belong where it had been hanging out, even though I knew where it was when it was there.  Today I decided I needed it.


I must have walked around the house for at least 20 minutes, checking shelves and drawers and going back to the places I had discounted with "I wouldn't have put it there" time and again.  It was to the point where I was saying to myself "okay, think like me.  How do I think?  Where would I think was a good, logical place for a microscope?"  Not - "think like the cat, where would she have hidden my sock?"  Not - "think like my son, what would he have done with the barbecue sauce?"  No, "c'mon, think like me.  Like me, how would I think?"  Because of course I am a separate person from myself.


Clearly I think crazy.


Oh yeah, I did eventually find it.  It was in a place where obviously I had stashed it thinking - "this is a stupid place but it's not where it was before so it must be better."  And to continue that thought "and I'll remember it here."












NOT.

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Maxine Monday

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I hate it when I break stuff.

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When I was about 10, my dad lost his glasses tending to a fire in the burn pit behind our garage. Apparently they fell out of his front shirt pocket right into the fire.  That night he made a 9 hour round trip drive to Michigan and back, to see my Uncle Doc.  Uncle Doc was our eye doctor and we would all get eye exams when we went up to visit.  That's how badly he needed to replace those glasses.

ALL BETTER!!

Today I officially understand.  :(   My glasses got kind of wonky so of course I tried to bend them a bit, ever so carefully .. snap!  Yikes!  Hopping into the shower and getting ready to leave the house, I remembered the story.  And I get it!


My glasses were 're-strung', the wire that held the lenses in place on the bottom was changed, they were back in shape and shined up and looked brand -y -new in about 45 minutes!


Oh, and not only am I grateful that America's Best was so responsive (and open on Sundays) but I am also glad my uncle retired long ago.  I understand why my dad made the drive, just not sure I would have been willing to do it!


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